Just JD

Just here to post inspiring e-mail forwards

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Bad communicator, bad boss (generally)

Funny how many bosses think their subordinates are moving on because of dissatisfaction over what they are paid. Wrong.

A 2001 study involving some 20,000 exit interviews found that the No. 1 reason people leave jobs is "poor supervisory behavior." In other words, bad bosses.

And one of the biggest factors cited in "poor supervisory behavior" was . . . poor communication skills. People too often are promoted for their workplace accomplishments, without any assessment of their communication skills, says Gretchen Heller, human resources consultant at Watson Wyatt Worldwide.

Simply put, if you aren't a good communicator, you probably shouldn't be a boss. And you probably won't be one for long, although there does appear to be a lot of bad bosses hanging on out there.

Fortunately, good communicators are made, not born, says David A. Owens, assistant professor of management at Vanderbilt University's Owen School of Management.

I talked to several management and human resources experts recently about how well today's managers communicate, including their use of e-mail. When I asked what bosses generally need to work on, here is what they told me.

7 basic communication tips


1. Be a better listener. Pay attention to your employees. Sounds simple, but it is a common gripe, says Maureen Dolan Rosen of Rosen & Associates, a human resources consultancy based in Chapel Hill, N.C. Among the things she stresses in workshops with managers is "learning how to listen better." She'll also offer a story about one of her former bosses, who cleverly perched his hand under his chin and appeared in meetings to be listening intently to whoever was speaking. But if you looked closely, under his glasses, his eyes were closed. He'd use the meetings to snooze.

2. Make time for employees. Regular, one-on-one meetings with your team members are important; if employees work remotely, meet by phone. If you can't meet weekly, do it at least twice a month. And don't take phone calls during meetings, unless it is an emergency. Show your employees they have your full attention. Talk about their career paths and how you envision them growing in their jobs. On the flip side, employees need to be aware of bosses' time pressures.

3. Get the word out to those affected as efficiently as possible. Take great pains to reach those who should be in the know about workplace changes coming down from above. This is tough. How easy it is to forget to tell someone, on a timely basis, something they should know about to do their job. But know the downfall: Work may not get done, and you may also look like you aren't in the know — which doesn't exactly inspire confidence in your troops.

4. Put out a consistent message about your values. Knowing who you are, and what you stand for, can help your employees make better decisions on their own (or at least decisions that you will like better). If you're sending mixed messages, explain them or suffer the consequences.

5. Give regular feedback; avoid surprises. Employees shouldn't first learn about significant performance issues in an annual evaluation. They should be confronted well beforehand (and as humanely as possible) that there is something they need to improve. "The annual evaluation should be more of a recap," Rosen says.

6. Be effective in speaking to groups. I'm not talking here about speaking to the local chamber of commerce or Rotary Club — although that is not a bad skill to have too, by the way. I mean employee groups. If you can't speak well at employee meetings or in front of employee groups, you lose credibility as a manager. Learn how to do it; learn how to get better at it. The same thing goes for writing group e-mails.

7. Don't hide behind e-mails. Most delicate matters must be discussed in person. Most conflicts must be settled in person, or at least by phone. When emotions are involved, e-mail becomes a less-appropriate vehicle to communicate. And e-mail is never an appropriate method to tell someone he or she is being laid off, Heller and others insist. (Yes, I know it happens.) Nonetheless, e-mail is an important communications tool, so I've also included a set of tips on how to communicate best using e-mail.

Getting your own evaluation

Should you seek out feedback from employees on your performance as a manager? You bet. It will engender loyalty, and likely make you a better boss.

How do you solicit such feedback? Larger businesses, such as Microsoft, have annual manager feedback forms that can be answered by employees (anonymously, if they so choose).

While that is one way to do it — and a way that is helpful in a corporate setting, where you have large HR staffs — I suggest you continually strive to get the feedback in person, as part of an ongoing dialogue with each of your employees.

Don't do it via e-mail. Use your one-on-one meetings with an employee to hear him or her out on an issue or concern with your management style. Try to disarm the employee as much as possible, with humor or whatever, and be sincere in your interest about what he or she has to say. It may be hard for you to do, but it may even be harder for the employee to speak his or her mind. The end result is likely to be a better relationship.

What if you can't get the employee to speak up? Your best bet is to keep working at your dialogue, without making the employee uncomfortable. Over time, the employee will confide in you. A smart way to end every one-on-one meeting is to casually but earnestly ask, "Is there anything else on your mind?" Then be willing to listen because, over time, you will be hearing more about what the employee is thinking.


Acting on employee feedback

How do you handle an employee's criticism? You listen to what the employee has to say, ask questions where appropriate, get the employee's suggestions on how you could improve and then pledge to consider it.

You are likely not to agree with everything said, at least initially. But take it all under advisement. Your initial reaction might be to reject the feedback completely. Bad move. Tell him you will take some time to think about the criticism, and get back to him later. Then do so.

Chances are, you will appreciate what the employee had to say, even if — after spending some time thinking about it — you still disagree. Do get back to the employee and pledge to do what you feel is necessary to enhance the relationship.


Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Prayer

This Pastor has guts! Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people. When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:



"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and call it Pluralism. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent to direct us to the center of Your will and to openly ask these things in the name of Your Son, the living Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen!"


The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea. Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God." If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends. "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything."

Friday, June 25, 2004

Lessons from a relatively lame story

I did not post the story because it was too superficial, but I liked the lessons it shared. So....
Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to give.

Treat every moment as if it's the last day, then you'll know how to treasure.

Treasure what you have right now, or else you may regret one day.

Problem-Solving Partner

"My troubles turned out all for the best-they forced
me to learn from your textbook. Truth from your mouth
means more to me than striking it rich in a gold mine.
Psalm 119:71-72


Life is a series of problem-solving opportunities. The
problems you face will either defeat you or develop
you - depending on how you respond to them.

Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants
to use problems for good in their lives. They react
foolishly and resent their problems rather than
pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.

Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in
your life:

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you
- Sometimes God
must light a fire under you to get you moving.
Problems often point us in a new direction and
motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your
attention? "Sometimes it takes a painful situation to
make us change our ways." Pr. 20:30

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you - People are like
teabags ... if you want to know what's inside them,
just drop them into hot water! Has God ever tested
your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal
about you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you
should be full of joy, because you know that these
troubles test your faith, and this will give you
patience." James 1:2-3

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you - Some lessons we
learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that
as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot
stove. But you probably learned by being burned.
Sometimes we only learn the value of something -
health, money, a relationship - by losing it. "It was
the best thing that could have happened to me, for it
taught me to pay attention to your laws." Ps.119:71-72


4. God uses problems to PROTECT you - A problem can be
a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being
harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend
of mine was fired for refusing to do something
unethical that his boss asked him to do. His
unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from
being convicted and sent to prison a year later when
his boss's actions were uncovered. "You intended to
harm me, but God intended it for good ...." Gen 50:20

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. - Problems, when
responded to correctly, are character builders. God is
far more interested in your character than your
comfort. Your relationship to God and your character
are the only two things you're going to take with you
into eternity.

"We can rejoice when we run into problems ... they
help us learn to be patient. And patience develops
strength of character in us and helps us trust God
more each time we use it until finally our hope and
faith are strong and steady." Rom. 5:3-4


Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even
when you do not recognize it or understand it. But
it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate
with Him!


Moments in Life

I am on downhill right now. A crisis that occurs once in a while. I keep, however, on reminding myself I will get past through this. If my tears wants to fall from eyes, I let them because I will feel better after. I'll hang on until I have proven that I can for my love for Him.

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!


When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.


Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.


Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.


The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.


The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.


When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

SEVEN HABITS OF ENLIGHTENED SOULS

(Notes from a talk by Mike George)

1. Be quiet. Shut off. The source of peace is our own consciousness. It's called the soul, or spirit. It's also what we truly are. As spirit,our original quality is peace. And so it is an inner crime to disturb your own peace. Peace is our truest power, merging in us only the most beautiful and positive thoughts. We only lose connection with the true self and its qualities because we have believed in false images of ourselves for so long (i.e. ego, anger, vices). Our true work is to remeber who we truly
are and reconnect with that peace as often as we can through the day. Spend some quiet time in between work and activity. Even at work, stay centered in your power. Stay in your peace.

2. Let go. Don't hold on to anything. Everything in our life comes to go. Everything comes and then moves on. If we cannot release, we cannot receive anything new. Change is the most essential law of life. Learn to detach and allow change to happen.

3. Let be. Accept. Be content. Contentment means understanding that whatever I am doing right now is exactly what I am meant to do. Where I am right now is exactly where I am meant to be. Don't waste your time interfermg, commenting or living other people's lives for them. Live your own life. You cannot control others but you can influence a situation. This habit makes you more creative and responsive, and stops you from
merely reacting.

4. Listen in. Stop seeking other people's approval. Go deep into the self. Listen to your intuition, your inner wisdom, the inner teacher.

5. Wake up. Eighty percent of our life is lived by habit. Write your habits and strike out those that you don't want. Create the image of your new positive habit and visualize yourself expressing it. For example, if you want to develop the habit of patience, imagine yourself waiting patiently at home or in the office. To "wake up" means to consciously choose our behavior and deliberately create our highest and best personality.

6. Know yourself. Happiness is a decision, not a dependency. Do not depend on external things (i.e. other people, material things, (position) for your selse of self-respect and happiness. Youy are happiness. You are a source of happiness. It is not anything outside of you. People search for love, peace and happiness in external, material and transitory things and relations. But we already have inside us the qualities that we seek. What keeps is away from them are false beliefs about the nature of ourself. The great spiritual leaders, from the Buddha to Jesus to Mohammad, all had one message: Know thy true self.

7. Pass on.
Give the gifts of your realization to others. Empower and give life and energy to things that are valuable to you. Share them with others. We are like rivers. Our highest purpose is to nourish creation indiscriminately. Our highest purpose in life is to nourish our fellow travellers in the path. Share with others the gift of wisdom.

TWO FALSE BELIEFS

1. We can possess something. The truth is, whatever I have is just for me to use and not to own. I am only a trustee of this idea, this house, this body, or this relationship. Fear of losing someone or something is what kills the world todayand has made us vulnerable to so many diseases. But I cannot really own anything. A Buddhist truism goes: If you die before you die, then you won't die when you die. It is easy to let go when you are detached from the external, material things. Real death is to die form
the illusion that I can possess anything, be it people, relationships or objects. Real death is to die from selfishness.

2. The Beauty myth. The myth of our society says that beauty can be attained by consuming something. It also says that the greates beauty is physical. We see women's and men's magazines showing "beautiful" bodies, hinting that you can be like this too if you buy this or wear that. The truth is, real beauty is internal. Inner beauty does not fade the way material things wear out with time and age. Beauty is being filled with the inner light of virtues. True beauty is spritual. It comes from one who is filled with that inner light of awareness of one's true worth and value as an individual. One thing that we all have in common is that we are each unique. I am a unique soul. No one in the world can ever be exactly like me. I am precious. I am one in a million.

Oprah

Everyone wants/needs to be validated.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four year old watched it all in silence. One evening=20 before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four year old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.


I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Measure of a Man

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of
comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and
controversy.." Martin Luther King Jr.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Godly Ways to Reduce Stress

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Simplify and unclutter your life.

5. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

6. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.


7. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

8. Take one day at a time.

9. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you to do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.


10. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

11. Do something for the Child in You everyday.

12. Get enough exercise.

13. Eat right.

14. Write thoughts and inspirations down.

15. Every day, find time to be alone.

16. Having problems? Talk to GOD on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to pray.

17. Make friends with Godly people.

18. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you, Lord!"

19. Laugh.

20. Laugh some more!

21. Take your work seriously, but yourself not at all.

22. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

23. Be kind to your subordinates (they probably need it the most).

24. Sit on your ego.

25. Talk less; listen more.

26. Slow down.

27. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

28. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.

GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

"If GOD is with us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) (When GOD is with us, it doesn't matter who is against us.)

How to Stay Young

Remember, there is no way you can look as bad as that person on your drivers license.

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning
. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Don't sweat the petty things

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!



Have a Great Day!!!!


"Never frown even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in LOVE with your smile..."

Management 101

Lesson One - An eagle was sitting on a tree resting,doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sittingvery. very high up.

Lesson Two - A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?", replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.


Management Lesson - Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Three - A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson -
(1)Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2)Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3)And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your 2 minute management course now get back to work

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Choose

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the
clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am
important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be
thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad
that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me
away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am
alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I
was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that
thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon
a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for
joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open
my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I
can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind,
body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am,
the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of
day I will have!

What will you choose to do with Today?
Have a Great Day...unless you have other plans.
One can only be whole if one gives a part of oneself to others.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Being Happy

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It just means you've decided to see life beyond the imperfections. So don't say you're happy coz everything's ok. Be happy coz things suck but you're doing just fine.