The Top 10 Best Cities for a Vacation

Where in the world should you go on vacation? Listen to sophisticated, passionate travelers who overwhelmingly say Sydney, Australia. Want to stay in the United States? Then head to New York City. That's the word from Travel + Leisure magazine's ninth annual poll of the best places to visit in the world. Based on 425,105 evaluations, this survey is the most comprehensive one the magazine has ever compiled.

Top 10 best vacation cities worldwide:

1. Sydney (Yep, I agree. I love Sydney because it is the only city in this list that I have ever visited. Hehehehe.)
2. Rome
3. Florence, Italy
4. Bangkok (Next stop with Carlos, my sister and my friends)
5. Cape Town
6. New York
7. Oaxaca, Mexico
8. Istanbul
9. San Francisco
10. Venice

Top 10 best vacation cities in the United States and Canada:

1. New York
2. San Francisco
3. Quebec City
4. Charleston, South Carolina
5. Santa Fe
6. Vancouver
7. Chicago
8. New Orleans
9. Victoria
10. Montreal

Partner and Marriage

by Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met aman who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seemsconstricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what itcuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives. WhenI was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. Isaw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexualfever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then Iwatched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in theirdealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutualtoleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights andbickering days and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else tosuch a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed toglow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not justdependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was anastounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can theyhave survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other'shabits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to evenstay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to theclaim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a badrelationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed.It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationshipfrom the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the earlystages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselvestogether. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by whichrelationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to seebeyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose toinvolve themselves sexually and ride out the mostheated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the otherside. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because thepresence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them fromhaving any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friendbefore they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know eachother's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at theirworst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept upinto the entangling intimacy of their sexuality. This is the ideal, but notoften possible.

If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you needto look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter.Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each others company over the longterm. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expenseof others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter isthe child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can alwayssurprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you canalways keep the world around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the mostintimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turnsour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends toturn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and yourrelationship can become based on being critical together.After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way yourespect. When two people first get together, they tend to see theirrelationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. Theyfind each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of theemotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationshipages and grows, the outside world becomes important again.

If your partnertreats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you willinevitably come to grief.Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs oflife. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not,be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the worldaround you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look alsoat how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp ofpoetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in thepoetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen inlife and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and thepractical, you must take care that the distance does not become anunbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself.

We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray andprivate commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fallin love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or ifyou cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing furtherapart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business oflife, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. Fromthere it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and dailyfailures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with theirmates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner withwhom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place inyour hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But Ithink it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It iscalled transformation.

Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomesthe flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and lovebecomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around usevery day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them theywould be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like aseed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that willblossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosencarefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly orfor the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed.

We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in amarriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of thebitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to meto question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness andbitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heatof love could be transformed into something positive that was actuallydeeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion.All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that whenit cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there ispositive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it resultsfrom a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousandblows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two historiesintermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presences, two separateconsciousness come together and share a view of life that passes beforethem. They remain separate, but they also become one.

There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as Ihad once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there arenot traps.

Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate tomonogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting,and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains. But onlymarriage allows life to deepen and expand and beleavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to becomeone.

Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of sharedcompany, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment thatdeepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do notfear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. Itis an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.

If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you areable to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endlessattraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have thestrength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love willexperience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers.

If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth yourpatience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom.

I am often frustrated with Carlos' decisions and our small spats to which I attribute our differences in maturity. When I was in my one of my life's lowest, however, God showed how lucky I am to have a husband who has so much faith and hope that things would turn out alright. I love him so much and more each day.

Make Sense of Moments in Time

"One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar." -- Helen Keller

'What would you attempt to do, if you knew you could not fail?" -- Unknown

"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware. Joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." -- Henry Miller

"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."-- Eleanor Roosevelt.

"Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one's courage." -- Anais Nin

A lame analogy

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this", or "Why did God have to do this to me". Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck!" says her daughter."How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
 "Mom, those are all yucky!"
To which the mother replies: "Yes, those things all seem bad by themselves. But when they are all put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts all these things together in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful! God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
 
I don't think the girl's story fits well into the analogy with the cake's ingredients. If we add all her miseries together, then she gets a depression.

MAKING CAREER DECISIONS WITHIN GOD'S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE

by Kevin Brennfleck and Kay Marie Brennfleck
National Certified Career Counselors


Are you wrestling with a career decision, not sure which path to take? Are you wondering which direction the Lord desires you to go? If so, you are not alone! Many Christians struggle with making career decisions at various points in their lives. For example, when Kay Marie was a sophomore in college, and a fairly new Christian, she desired with her whole heart to do what God wanted her to do with her life. As a communication major, she was considering getting a master's degree and teaching at the college level. She was concerned, however, that she needed to be in "full-time Christian ministry" in order to serve God most fully. She was haunted by a vision of standing before God some day and instead of hearing Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant," He would say to her, "Well, you did...OK." Perhaps you can relate to fearing at some level that you are missing God's will for your career and life.

As Christians, we desire to live our lives in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. We want to do His will in all aspects of our lives--in the daily choices we make that govern our actions and in the large life decisions we have to make. Scripture does give us clear guidance regarding the moral choices we are to make as God's sons and daughters, such as in the Ten Commandments and Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. The Bible gives us instruction as to how we are to live our lives so as to be salt and light in this world, glorifying God with our lives.

The Bible does not, however, give specific guidance about many types of life decisions, including making career choices. No where in Scripture will you find a verse that will specify whether you should become an accountant or an engineer. Nor will you find detailed instructions on how to choose a career when confronted with multiple possibilities. Why doesn't the Bible address career choice? One likely reason is because in biblical times, career choice was not an issue. Men usually went into the family business--whether fishing or sheep herding or carpentry or being a merchant-- and women usually got married and had babies. "What should I do with my career?" was not a burning issue of the times.

Today, however, career decisions can seem overwhelming because of the sheer number of options that are available--more than at any other time in history. We long to make the "right" decision--the choice that proves to be good for us and that is the one we believe God would have us make. So what can we do to make wise career decisions that are within the will of God for our lives? Although the Bible is not a manual on career planning and decision making, it does teach some important principles that can assist you in becoming a wise decision maker. These principles have guided our own career planning as well as our career counseling as we seek to help others through the career decision making process.

PRINCIPLE 1: Our first priority in life must always be to develop an increasingly intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

In our society, we are concerned with accomplishments: what we do, how we perform, what we produce, how busy we are, etc. We may judge the fruitfulness of a pastor's ministry, for example, by the size of his or her church, the number of books written, tapes produced, the presence of a television ministry, etc. Yet Jesus said that all of this doesn't matter unless the person is intimately connected to Him: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned" (John 15:5-6).

Remember that Christ calls us to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" (Mt. 6:33)--not to seek what we can do for the kingdom of God. Being rooted in Christ is a fundamental "prerequisite" to finding God's will for your career. You will not be ready or able to find the career path He has designed you for unless you are seeking Him first. He calls you to love Him with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength--and to love others as you love yourself. The more passionately you are pursuing these callings, the better equipped you will be to hear His voice and to be the person you will need to be in order to do the things God has created you to do.

Also, be aware of some of the warning signs that your career (or prospective career) may interfere with your relationship with Christ. For example, does your job require you to act in unethical or immoral ways such as not revealing certain information about a product or service to a prospective customer? Does your work require you--or seduce you--to spend so much time at work that you have little time for anything else including your friends and family, your quiet times with the Lord, church, etc.? Does it tempt you to become prideful, greedy, manipulative, etc.? In other words, is your work leading you away from Christ rather than leading you toward becoming more Christ-like? If so, you would be right in questioning whether this is a career path the Lord would have you to pursue. As Jesus says, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (Mt. 16:26).

PRINCIPLE 2: God has created you with the aptitude for particular skills and abilities, and with the inclination toward particular interests. Your design is the most important factor to consider in making career decisions.

John came from a family that was involved in full-time Christian service: his sister was a missionary, his brother was a pastor and his parents were Christian educators. Although he had very strong artistic talents and interests, John felt pursuing an art-related career wasn't an appropriate way to serve God, so he became a computer programmer, working for a large Christian organization. Although he enjoyed parts of his work, he longed to be using his creative talents. He felt a part of himself was dying.

You are God's handiwork. He created your inmost being, and knit you together in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:13-14). You have been given work-related gifts that have been chosen specifically for you (Romans 12:6-8). God desires for you to use the gifts He has given you. Working out of your design will bring you satisfaction, will bless and enable you to serve others effectively, and will bring glory to your Designer. To make good career decisions you must have a thorough knowledge of your personality, skills and abilities, interests and values. Without this knowledge, you are not fully equipped to make good career decisions.

PRINCIPLE 3: Being a Christian does not exempt us from the responsibility to become wise decision makers. Therefore, it is your responsibility to use your God-given mind to learn how to make good career decisions.

If you wanted to buy a computer, most likely you wouldn't pray about it and then just walk into a computer super-store and see which computer you felt "led" to buy! Most people would agree that to do so would be foolish. Instead, most people would agree that it's best to research information about the different computers on the market, identify their specific needs, investigate prices at different stores for the computers of most interest, and then make a purchase. Certainly prayer should be a part of the process, but God expects us to do our part in making wise decisions, as well.

Learning how to make decisions is a part of developing wisdom and maturity, both of which God desires for us. The book of Proverbs is full of admonitions about the importance of gaining wisdom to live a life that is pleasing to God. The proverbs are given to us "for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life..." (Prov. 1:1-3). God desires for us to have not only spiritual maturity and wisdom but also wisdom that relates to making decisions in this life.

Career decisions are often scary for people. There may be more than one good option, and seemingly, much is at stake. Unfortunately, many Christians avoid their responsibility to make the best possible decision in the situation. Instead, they let other people or outside circumstances "make a decision" for them. Circumstances or "signs" may be interpreted as God's will for them. For example,

Jackie was working as a file clerk. Bored and tired of earning minimum wage, she was asking God to lead her into a new career. One day, when she left her job for the day, she noticed a real estate office right across the street that had a sign up: Wanted: New Real Estate Agents. Excited at the thought of a better paying job selling houses, she drove home and found a flyer on her door advertising a school to train real estate agents. She concluded this was God's answer to her prayers. She became a real estate agent and found that she hated selling. She left the field soon after entering it, feeling like God had led her astray.

While I don't deny that God can lead through circumstances, Scripture does not support that God wants to bypass our wrestling with making difficult decisions in partnership with Him. (For example, Scripture gives many references in which the Apostle Paul used logical thinking--combined with prayer--to determine his direction. See Romans 15:18-24--especially verse 20--for one such instance.)

Just as you would use computer magazines, knowledgeable computer users and computer professionals to decide which computer would be best for you to buy, there are resources available to you to assist you in learning how to do good career planning and make good career decisions based on the right information about your design and the world of work. God does guide us; He does, however, expect us to take responsibility for using the minds He has given us to the best of our ability.

PRINCIPLE 4: Living out God's will for your career and life will require that you take risks.

Stephanie's mother had always encouraged her to "play it safe" and not take any risks so that she wouldn't get hurt in life. This mind set had resulted in Stephanie, a bright and creative young woman, being tremendously underemployed as a receptionist. In one of her career counseling sessions she stated that she was sure that as soon as she "knew exactly" what God wanted her to do she would be able to take the steps to change careers.

Stephanie's words, and those we have heard from other clients in similar conversations, reveal that they are expecting God to give them a clear, specific vision of what He wants them to do and exactly how they are to go about doing it. The underlying reason is that they believe a career change will then be risk-free and failure-proof. The hope and belief--often unconscious--is that once they have their clear vision it will somehow magically become reality without them having to face any of the fears that have kept them stuck in the past.
The problem with this mind set is that God doesn't work this way. God doesn't call us to risk-free living, because we wouldn't need to develop our "faith muscles." The typical way God works is to impress upon our hearts and minds a need, a cause, an issue or an interest that we develop a desire to do something about, and then to lead us one step at a time. Jesus' call to His disciples was for them to follow Him, and become fishers of men. They had no idea what was in store for them! When Jesus called the Saul (Paul), He did not reveal to him all that his ministry would entail or require from him.

The same is true for us today! In our own ministry, and in the work and ministries of clients and colleagues, we have seen how a sense of call or vision may not be very specific and it's certainly not accompanied with detailed directions or guarantees on how to pursue the dream successfully. God's guidance is given one step at a time, and often requires that we take some scary steps of faith. In the Parable of the Talents (Mt. 25:14-30), the point is often missed that the first two servants were not told what to do with the talents that were entrusted to them. The first servant "went at once and put his money to work and gained five more [talents]." He used his own reasoning powers to decide how best to work with the talents he had been given. He took some risks!

Learning to take risks is an essential part of following God and living out His will for our lives. Without risks, a person's life becomes a process of digging an ever-deeper rut in which he or she stagnates and cuts himself or herself off from all that God intends life to be. As Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." We know that, as God's sons and daughters, we have already won in this life--we are victors! God calls us to live courageously--to take risks in order to use our gifts and bring salt and light to this hurting world. We have nothing to lose, and everything to gain!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Eph. 3:20-21)

Flatter Abs

1. One of the first things people need to realize about flattening their belly is that when you begin eating smaller, more balanced portions of food you simply make a significant change on how the belly looks. One of the reasons most people do 100 sit-ups and can’t get a flat belly is because their gut is too full. By eating smaller portions you’re moving toward a flatter belly.

2. Overall body fat contributes to how lean the belly is. You can’t lose body fat on the belly. The body’s fat compartment is one system. Doing leg exercises actually burns five times more body fat than doing sit-ups. Exercising the whole body is the way to burn fat off the belly. The notion that doing sit-ups burns fat off the belly is a myth.

3. You don’t have to do sit-ups every day. Exercising the ab muscles twice a week is plenty. For example, perform your ab exercises every Monday and Thursday. Muscles become stronger and more firm through the process of adaptation. We stress the muscle and then it recovers and comes back stronger and better. The muscles need time to recover.

4. Oftentimes people don’t realize that one of the reasons that they’re tummy isn’t tighter is because of their posture. Their shoulders are falling and their posture is beginning to lean forward. Practice healthy posture with your shoulders up and back straight while walking, sitting at your desk and exercising. Doing this while exercising helps flatten the belly.

5. Two highly recommended ab exercises are crunches and leg lifts on the stability ball. These exercises work the most muscle fibers and get the best results the fastest. The stability ball causes you to activate virtually every muscle in the upper and lowers abs. The whole midsection core has to work to pull of the crunches and leg lifts

Reasons for Living by Duncan Sheik

I posted this one when I felt frustrated most. I have learned from Charles Swindoll that I should not expect so that I won't get frustrated. The postman promised he will come back to deliver my check today but he didn't. I hoped. Such a huge mistake.


Everyone's looking, everyone hides
Everyone's telling, but everyone lies
We're changing the subject, we're turning away
Away from the heart of it all
You say you are happy
Do you think this is fun?
Well it's only a firefly to the light of the sun
You say this is living, you feel so alive
Well you know everything dies

Even my wonder, even my fear
Only amount to a couple of tears
There is a rhythm, it's near and it's far
It flows through the heart of us

Welcome to another day
It doesn't seem that different 'cause nothing has changed
I try to remember, try to remember
When we were just running in place
Reasons for living, never come cheap
But even your best ones can put me to sleep
What I am saying or trying to say
Is that there must be a better way

Chorus
It's already in you, it's already there
You may disagree, but I don't really care
Did you ever find out, did you ever find out
What's at the heart of us?
Did you ever find out
Did you ever find out what's at the heart?