My Kind of Filipinos

Written by Ms. Solita Collas Monsod

ONE of the noteworthy results of the Pulse Asia Survey conducted last November was that almost two-thirds (63 percent) of the respondents-where every Filipino had an equal chance to be selected-disagreed with the statement, "This country is hopeless," with 20 percent undecided and only a relatively small minority (16 percent) agreeing. A significantly smaller proportion, but still a majority (54 percent), also disagreed with the statement, "If it were only possible, I would migrate to another country and live there," with 18 percent undecided, and a larger minority (28 percent) agreeing.

Those statistics need a human face, and this column is devoted to Chris and Marivic Bernido, who are exemplars of this majority and whose actions show how deeply they love their country and how much they are willing to do to make it a better place to live in.

Chris and Marivic are not your average Filipino couple. Both have PhDs in Theoretical Physics (State University of New York, Albany) and have distinguished themselves in the field, in the Philippines and abroad, with an international reputation in Path Integrals Method and White Noise Analysis (don't ask me what these are, but they sound impressive). Their names appear as authors or co-authors in the Journal of Mathematical Physics and other international journals. Both were in the faculty (Chris was director) of the National Institute of Physics, University of the Philippines, and both earned "Outstanding Teacher" awards when they resigned in 1999.

It is easy to jump to the conclusion that they left UP for greener pastures abroad. With their qualifications, they could work practically anywhere in the developed world, at salaries at least 10 times the local rates. But if that was what happened, this story would have been about two more Filipinos who joined the brain drain.

Money was not their object. They went back to Jagna, Bohol, (population 30,000) to set up the Central Visayas Institute Foundation with two seemingly disparate arms: the Research Center for Theoretical Physics (RCTP), serving Visayas and Mindanao, and the Central Visayas Institute Foundation (CVIF) high school, originally set up 30 years before by Chris' grandfather, which was floundering. Their primary aim was investment in human capital, more precisely human capital development. It was payback time-to the country they love.

That the RCTP is flourishing should be no surprise, given the backgrounds of the founders. It regularly conducts seminars and workshops for the transfer of technology and knowledge. It helps institutions of higher learning in Visayas and Mindanao improve their research and teaching capabilities, as well as their academic programs, and hosts triennial international conferences which have attracted some of the best physicists in the world, including Nobel laureates. The Bernidos receive no help from the Philippine government for these efforts.

But if the Bernidos' work in RCTP serves as a beacon for physics research and training, their work in CVIF is making waves in the Philippine education circles. The school has been visited by educators from all over the country (the most recent being the consortium of Poveda, De La Salle and Immaculate Conception Academy), and the Bernidos have been invited to expound on what they are doing under the sponsorship of the Fund for Assistance to Private Education.

Why? Because in the course of four years of school administration (principal, director), teaching (General Science, Chemistry, Physics, Geometry) and by firsthand experience, they realized that the traditional teaching methods developed in the West were not effective in the current Philippine context. So they worked out a program called the CVIF Dynamic Learning Program (CVIF Program, for short) which is suitable for the large classes common in the Philippines, requires a smaller number of textbooks, needs fewer science equipment, reduces teaching personnel requirements, is less dependent on the abilities and personalities of teachers, has built-in checks of dysfunctional behavior observed in Filipinos (which they list as: a culture of dependence, underdeveloped virtue of honesty, low standards of quality or the pwede na 'yan attitude, skewed priorities, and a poor concept of time and discipline in keeping schedules). In short, a program that addresses the problems and adverse conditions existing in the country.
And get this, folks: the students have no homework under the CVIF Program (I hope to write more about this in another column).

That the program is succeeding can be judged from what the Bernidos call external checks. First is that for the first time in their school's history, students passed the UP College Admission Test two years in a row: five (out of 12 who took it) in 2003, and four in 2002 (after eight years without any passers). Second is that in the Mathematical Challenge for Filipino Kids Training Program conducted by the Mathematics Trainers Guild (MTG) of the Philippines, the number of CVIF qualifiers rose from one to eight to 10 since 2002-with two of them ranking second and third overall, outranking their counterparts from Tagbilaran City.

How's that performance for a rural high school where almost half of the students had a parent or guardian who did not get past high school? Chris and Marivic dream of some of those students eventually feeding into the Research Center for Theoretical Physics. And they are working hard to realize that dream.

They are my kind of Filipinos.

Happiness

We convince ourselves that life will be better when we have a baby or another one. When we finally get what we thought we wanted, we find ourselves exhausted. Then, we conclude we will be more content when the children are older.Only, they do get older. Then, we have teenagers to deal with. Surely, happiness will come once they have outgrown that stage. But, no, wait. They leave the nest. We tell ourselves that life will be complete when our spouse gets their act together, when we get a nicer car, when we get a raise, when we have grandchildren, or when we are able to go on a nicer vacation.The truth is, there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It is best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special enough to share your time with; and remember that time waits for no one. Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new home, until your home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you get approved for disability, until you are off welfare, until the first or the fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you have had a drink, until you have sobered up, until you die, until you get to heaven to decide to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Desiderata

Ms Malyn sent this to me which reminded me of Lucy Torres-Gomez telling everyone not to envy her because she is just a simple gal, like everybody else, striving to be happy. Eversince I saw Lucy calmly and regally responding to accusations, I instantly became her fan. Like Lucy, Ms Malyn is often accused of a lot of things by The-One-Who-Cannot-Be-Named-Here but she is still looking for the best way to clear herself.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,and whatever your labors and aspirations,in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

Of heartaches and unconditional love

I found this article in Philippine Star written by Lucy Torres. The part I like most in it was May Sarton's qoute, which is "If there's deep love involved, then there's deep responsibility towards it". It’s almost 4 p.m. and the house is very quiet, so quiet I actually hear the rustling of the leaves outside. I like it this time of the year – the wind is cool. There is a still time in the afternoon when there is hardly any activity in the house, the sun is high up but no longer too hot, and the wind teases the leaves of the trees. They sound like chimes to me, and brings me back to my Lola’s house in Cebu. There she had many, many trees growing in her backyard, so many that regardless of which room you stayed in you were bound to enjoy how they sounded and what they looked like when the wind played with them. I remember always waking up after an afternoon nap to the sound of that. As I’m writing this Juliana is in the other room playing-cum-arguing with Francis, the almost two-year-old son of our messenger, Roger. Before I left the room I told her for the nth time to please not put her ribbons and clips on Francis’ curly hair. Boys don’t wear clips, I tell her. She does not hear me, her focus and that of Francis’ now shifting to a bottle of bubbles. From among the many others that they can amuse themselves with they have to fight over that one little thing. My last glimpse before I closed the door was of Francis, the bottle of bubbles in his hand, quizzically looking at himself in the mirror. He is now thankfully already devoid of any feminine trimmings but is not without a pair of funky green plastic sunglasses, the kind Brini Maxwell would wear. Good enough for me. Anything but clips or wigs (yes, one time it was actually that) on the innocent little boy. God forbid he might actually start enjoying it. And they were no longer arguing. Today is just like the many quiet afternoons I spend at home. The only difference is that this time, in between browsing through my Real Simple magazine and watching American Idol, I was texting some very good friends I have not seen for quite some time. One of them says he has been very sad lately. I could only surmise at that point that it was an affair of the heart that was causing his deep sadness but I did not want to push and ask him to explain further. He later sends another message in response to my query about something connected to Christmas and somewhere between the small talk he spills out that she (perhaps the love of his life) hates him. Ahh, see I was right. I’m never wrong when it comes to detecting pained hearts. It is a talent I’ve had for as long as I can remember. It was an affair of the heart, an obviously sad one. I texted back to say that there is a very thin line between love and hate (truly, that’s not just some high-school definition of love). We ended our repartee by agreeing that with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, there should be no room for hurting hearts. As it is, there are enough sad people living out blue days – why add to the number? There should be a law against broken hearts, if only for that one day in a year, don’t you think? Call me a sentimental fool but imagine what one perfect day of love for each and every soul out there can do to make the world happier, better. A heart made so happy in just one day that even the memory of it will make the heart big enough to give out good love the whole year through – spread a little here and there in daily doses. But that can only happen in a perfect world. In reality, there always seems to be room for just one more broken heart. One too many. Quota is never met, supply is always more than the demand. Another text message comes in. This time from a female friend of mine who is passionately planning her own Valentine celebration with a guy she has been seeing seriously for almost a year. She is not without her share of past heartaches but she has bounced back…. and how. By the tone of her text messages I could almost picture her jumping up and down, dancing around, happily humming through her planning... what a beautiful thing, this thing called love. Such a complicated, abused feeling, too. Perhaps there is no other emotion that can be black, white, and gray all at the same time, beautiful and sad simultaneously, too. It is always easy to talk about Valentine’s Day in the happy, giddy sense because in our minds, that is the way it should be. A day that celebrates love, loving and being loved. But to a broken heart, how can one actually say Happy Valentine’s Day? Juliana and Francis come running down the stairs in a mad scramble, laughing and talking at the same time… well, she’s talking and he’s trying. But they understand each other. Somehow. And they make such happy noises. Looking at the two of them I realize that child-like is precisely how an adult man-woman relationship should be. Just awhile ago they were arguing, fighting over some small thing. Now they are just happy to be spending time with each other. They are content to exist in the present moment. Think about it – wouldn’t it be nice if we could all be like the children we once were and go back to the time when our hearts were simpler? When perhaps the biggest problem (if you could call it that) was maybe which toy to choose from among the many that line the happy shelves of a place like Toy Kingdom, when sweating the small stuff was unheard of? A time when love was purely given and taken, not analyzed and taken apart too much; a time, too, when forgiving came easier, when a sorry was always meant sincerely and accepted just as easily. A time when no hurts were ever stored, no grudges bred. Is that not how little children are? They do not have room in their hearts to store pain. Everyday is a new day for them, they embrace it with freedom from fear, always bare-naked. They give their all in the same way that they accept all that is given them. If they get hurt today, it simply is a fresh one that they deal with, never compounded on yesterday’s wounds. When sought for forgiveness they give it just as easily, and the memory of all prior pain is trashed in innocent oblivion. Erased, just like that. That is, until they reach an age when they learn how to process and begin to understand the ways of the world; when they can actually make sense and sensibility of emotions felt and given; when they discover that it is actually nice to give and take as opposed to doing just one or the other. Then love (and life) ceases to be as simple as it used to be. My friends always say that I give them such ideal answers to their heartaches because I do not know what that is, in the truest sense of the word. I say I hope I will never have to find out. They say it is very easy to preach what you have not practiced. What they say not everyone knows yet is that nothing ever prepares you for the pain of a broken heart. Not all the self-help books, the most intelligent answers, even the most learned of men. Each person deals with it differently, no standard formula is ever fool-proof or cure-all. No magic pills to take, no doctors to see even. With loving always comes the possibility of hurting. Just because someone truly loves you does not mean he/she will never hurt you. And why that has to happen perhaps we will never really understand. Maybe it has to do with the truth that the person you love the most is also the same one who can hurt you the deepest. Is it not strange how the love that hurt you can be the same one that can heal you? Not always, maybe, but often enough for it to hold true. It is hard to love unconditionally, that much I know. Yes, we can love truly, madly, deeply but never without expecting love to come back to us, hopefully in the same force. After a heartbreak, how can someone live in freedom from fear of being hurt (again) while at the same time have the same verve for love as when he first started? Beats me, I do not have the answer to that. One of my favorite quotes was shared to me by someone very dear. It is from one May Sarton who says: "If there is deep love involved, there is deep responsibility toward it." I like the sound of that. Especially in a marriage, maybe love is not so much the absence of pain or conflict but the presence of an everyday commitment to make things work. Sometimes you look for love in all the wrong places. You look for something you thought you did not have only to find out you’ve had it all along. You just did not realize or appreciate it because you got it in constant doses it became so ordinary. But it was never lost, it was just lost on you. Sometimes you appreciate someone only when you almost lose him/her. Appreciate what you have while you still have it. And I say love deeply. I say love beyond the pain... love through the pain... in spite of... because of... love even when love bites... that is how great love stories are lived out. That is how great love happens. Despite all that has been said and (un)done for love and in the name of love, the fact remains: one of the most wonderful things is still having someone in this world that you love more than yourself.

A Good Reminder

Ms Lian Chua posted this in the I Can Serve yahoo group. I reckon I should memorize this so as not to waste time. I am supposed to come in early this morning but I spent my waking time worrying. A prayer, however, pulled me up and I still have a parking space when I arreived. Every day should be a good day and you should live it like it's your last.Some people live a life of anger, frustration, pain, jealousy, and/ordishonesty, but all of these things will come to pass when your time here is over. Just take a moment to think . we will not be on this earth forever.One day, we will not have to worry about going to work or how we will makeour car payment. We will not have to worry where our next meal will come from, or how we can buy that $300,000 house. At anytime, God could take usoff of this earth, so you should appreciate today and not worry abouttomorrow, for nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. When you wake up each morning, thank the Lord for waking you up. When youlie down to sleep at night, thank the Lord for another day. If you have ajob, thank the Lord for your place of employment. Ask that he may bless youin everything that you do. Ask him to give you the knowledge and the wisdomto do your job. If you don't have a job, thank him anyway. Ask him todirect you to the job that is right for you. When you are eating breakfast,lunch or dinner, say a prayer. Thank the Lord for providing food andnourishment to your body. If you are healthy, thank the Lord for the healthand strength in your body. If you aren't, thank him anyway for life, andask him to heal your body. So the next time that you get mad, think twice. The next time youcomplain about something at your job, think twice. The next time you sayyou wish you had steak instead of chicken, think twice. Be thankful forwhat you have, and the life that God has given you. Pray and ask the Lordfor guidance. Be sincere, as God knows whether or not we mean it from theheart. Help those in need as a gift from your heart, and not so you can geta pat on the back. Put forth the extra effort in everything that you do.Go after what you want in life, and do whatever it takes to achieve yourgoals. No matter how perfect you think you are, there is always room forimprovement, and an opportunity for you to do better. If you are depressed, don't cry, just hold your head up and the Lord willhelp you through. Pray and ask the Lord to deliver you from your state ofdepression. Whatever it is that you are depressed about, God will take thatpain from you heart. It may not be at that moment, or that next hour, ormaybe not even the next day, but he WILL do it if you just believe in him.God may not show up when YOU want him to, but he's ALWAYS right on time.God will not give us more than we can bear. Sometimes he will present uswith issues that will test our faith, but you have to be strong enough tobelieve that God will do exactly what he says. The message for today is topraise the Lord, have faith in the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, and liveevery day like it is your last. Theoretically speaking, if the Lord never does anything else for us, otherthan wake us up each day, put food in our mouthes and clothes on our backs,we should thank him anyway. He died so that we could have life on thisearth.